The SARS virus has yet to infect one single person in Scotland - but that hasn’t stopped tens of thousands of panic-buyers preparing for a nationwide epidemic.
Forgive me if I sound cynical, but it is possible to feel sympathy for the families in the Far East who have been hit by SARS and yet also to laugh out loud at the whinnying cattle stampede of my fellow countrymen, as they charge to their bunkers at
the first hint of a summer cold.
The simple facts are these: Barely more than a score of people have been infected with SARS in Europe, and of these, no-one has died. In Scotland there has yet to be a single case.
If I were travelling to Hong Kong, or China, then I, too, would be stocking up on my respirator, and my N95 super-strength mask, complete with double-sided thick white fabric plus metal strip which will fit snugly over my nose. And as and when this virus arrives in Edinburgh’s New Town, then I, too, will be washing my hands every ten minutes, wiping down the phones and keeping the windows open.
But until that time - until Tony Blair goes live on the evening news and tells us to batten down the hatches because this country is in the thrall of a SARS pandemic - then I wouldn’t even think of joining this witless bunch of bed-wetters, who believe they are showing immense foresight by buying a family pack of face masks.
I realise this attitude may sound like smug cockiness - and that tonight some will be praying fervently (from the haven of their airtight, bomb-proof cellars) that the penalty for hubris kicks in, and that I get laid low by SARS tomorrow.
But the problem that these worriers face is that, within a month, there will be something new for them to worry themselves sick over. By the summer, the SARS panic will probably be over - to be replaced by another food scare, or another "imminent" terrorist attack. It seems like only last week that thousands of Scots were snapping up duct-tape by the van-load, plus the ubiquitous baked beans and bottled water, because they imagined the primary target of Saddam’s first dirty bomb would be Murrayfield, Edinburgh. Poor lambs - they’d only just got round to eating beef again, after BSE and Foot and Mouth.
It is true that various specialist medics have been trotted out to say that SARS may be much more infectious than was at first believed; that SARS may kill millions of people; that there’s such a high risk of catching the disease, we should not even think of leaving Scotland.
Pardon me for sounding sceptical. But I too was once a Fleet Street journalist - and I know that it is easy to dredge up any number of rent-a-quote "specialists" who will support any particular view that an editor is minded to take. If you fancied starting a campaign to run a dual carriageway straight through the middle of Edinburgh, there would be no problem at all in finding a tranche of "traffic consultants" to back you up.
With the SARS story, the press has been only too delighted to play its part. Nothing sells newspapers like a good scare story. And so it is that at the first whiff of a brand new disease with no known cure, many tabloid editors will rattle the swill-drum - and keep on rattling it until a fresh news story comes along.
A few years back, the big story was AIDS. This illness is still incurable, is killing millions worldwide - and, frankly, is a genuine problem in Britain, as opposed to the possible threat of SARS. Yet AIDS is now deemed to be such old news it hardly merits more than a few column inches.
I sometimes wonder how Britain’s tabloids would deal with a genuine epidemic - as opposed to the hyped-up, ramped-up stories that they churn out by the bucketload. The great flu epidemic of 1918 killed more than 40 million people worldwide, which is far more than were killed in the First World War. No area of the world was safe. Some five per cent of the British population died from it. If you talk to any Scot who lived through the epidemic, they will all recall friends or relatives who died from Spanish Influenza.
Then was the time to buy a mask, to be wary about coughing strangers, to keep the windows open and think twice about shaking hands. But to have this latest knee-jerk reaction to SARS - to start rushing out to the shops for face-masks - shows a total lack of perspective. These people don’t seem to realise they have a far greater chance of dying in a car crash because they haven’t had their eyes checked in the last decade. Suggest a trip to the opticians though, and they’d say they just don’t have the time.
Many people, it seems, have a Worry Quotient, which must be kept topped up at all times - whether it’s worrying about SARS, or dirty bombs, or exam results, or bank overdrafts, or any little thing that their minds choose to fix upon during the endless hours of navel-gazing.
I suppose I ought to feel compassion for the country’s terminal worriers. But this is difficult. Worry is not only the most useless, counter-productive emotion there is, but it is also wholly negative. Worry is a joyless pessimist who dwells constantly on worst-case scenarios, who believes that everything is going to turn out for the worst. He is never upbeat, never positive, but spends his time skulking in dark corners, chewing his fingernails, and waiting to say, "I told you so". Worriers believe that they have no control over their rampant fears - that worry is an innate, intrinsic part of themselves.
There’s one pertinent fact from the Second World War: the suicide rate in Britain fell away to absolutely nothing. For once in their lives, Britons had something genuinely enormous to worry about, rather than their wretched love lives, or their dysfunctional childhoods - or, indeed, the minuscule risk of dying from a SARS virus.
Today, Britons live in the healthiest, safest society ever known, where life expectancy rates are at an all-time high. But all this has done is turn many of us into quivering wrecks, terrified of taking risks, desperate never to endanger our humdrum lives. Our ultra-modern 21st-century world has given us all hours of newfound leisure time; but all it has done is give us more opportunities for fussing about how much we have to lose when everything goes horribly wrong.
Sometimes we need a little grit in our lives, to make us appreciate what we have; to make us live for the moment.
Sam Pepys, the great diarist, witnessed first-hand the Great Plague in 1665, as well as the Fire of London in 1666. He miraculously survived an operation for gall stones, which was conducted without anaesthetic and without alcohol. On every side, he was surrounded by death. When one reads his diaries, one is reading the journal of a man who lived every day, every second, as if it were his last.
But Britain’s worriers, so terrified of catching the latest mystery illness, would never conduct their lives like that. They are so conditioned to worry, that, even on their death beds, they will be fretting about their dependants.
Buying into a panicTHEY have become the most recognisable image of the SARS crisis. From the Far East to Toronto, thousands won’t venture on to the streets without wearing a face mask. Even in Britain, where the virus has yet to take a hold, a new website has sold 10,000 SARS masks in the past two-and-a-half weeks.
But do any face masks - whether they are designed to stop the spread of a virus, or simply to protect the DIY brigade from building dust, or cyclists from car fumes - actually do the job?
Dr Michael Apple, author of The Hamlyn Family Encyclopedia of Health, says that the many masks on the market are effective for different purposes - and to varying degrees.
But he warns: " None of them should be relied upon to protect you against SARS in a high-risk environment. The other way you can catch SARS is by touching and eating things that have been in direct contact with the virus. The best advice is to follow normal cleanliness, with lots of hand-washing, and avoid handling things that could be contaminated."
We asked experts to comment on the various face masks being marketed in Britain.
Surgical face mask, Boots, £3.69 Made from viscose and polypropylene, they are used mainly in hospitals to capture micro-organisms in the breath of medical staff to protect the patient against infection.
Dr Apple says: "I have known parents caring for premature babies at home who wear these masks if either of them catches a cold or flu. The masks reduce the risk of passing on bugs."
Techno Anti-Pollution Cycle Mask (above left), £29.99, Cyclecare, Kensington
Made from neoprene, a material used in wetsuits, this is designed for city cyclists with a carbon filter to protect against car fuel pollutants such as lead oxide, sulphur dioxide and benzene. There is a second layer in the filter to stop inhalation of tiny particles of dust, black smoke, diesel particulates and pollens.
Tom Bogdanowicz, from the London Cycling Campaign, says: "Cycle masks don’t offer much protection from pollution, although they do filter some particles. Choose the ones made from neoprene, as they fit better."
The Air-Aid Mask, £4.99 www.safetymasks.co.uk Made from a synthetic fabric with a charcoal-activated filter. To be used for basic protection in emergency situations, such as a chemical attack, or to stop smoke inhalation - but it won’t protect against carbon monoxide. It can also be worn as protection when using household cleaning products, spraying in the garden, or painting. Dr Apple says: "This will probably do what it claims and offer some protection in the short term."
3M Foldable Respirator (above right), £9.99, www.safetymasks.co.uk This has a filter made from a web of polyester fibre, polypropylene, with an exhalation valve to keep the wearer cool. Offers protection against SARS. It cannot be worn by men with facial hair that may prevent the mask fitting the face snugly. Dr Harvey says: "This mask is very good. After gases, bacteria are the hardest thing to keep out."
Duram NBC Personal Escape Mask, £69.99, www.safetymasks.co.uk Made from rubber, this is designed to be effective in the event of a chemical or biological incident. It protects the respiratory system and the eyes against toxins. It is pulled over the head like a balaclava.
Dr Apple says: "This mask is the most effective of all the options. One of the ways people catch SARS is through tiny droplets and because this mask covers your mouth and nose, the risk would be reduced."
