POOR old Coleen Rooney. One moment she's the nation's sweetheart, having bravely overcome a heartbreaking addiction to pink velour to be hailed as the new queen of "sophisticated Wagdom", the next she's been declared the face of Argos.
Or, at least, we're told that she has "designed" a range of jewellery for that purveyor of things fit only to be seen in photo form before purchase.
Siren blames young upstart Cheryl Cole, with her girly perfection and X Factor megastardom, for C
oleen's style demise. While wee Cheryl has ascended to the status of minor deity – as goddess of girl-next-door beauty and easily provoked tears – our Coleen, below, has been axed from public consciousness faster than a gaudily painted statue before a gang of marauding iconoclasts.
So, presumably in order to revive her ailing image, we hear she has just launched her "hippy chic" jewellery range and a particularly sophisticated sounding selection of "designer-inspired" watches for the store.
Still, before we get too upset about Coleen's rather less-than-glamorous new role, it should be noted that the Argos deal has reportedly netted her a comforting £500,000. Siren is agog imagining just how many designer-inspired timepieces one could buy with it.
Expert divorce adviceON THE less-than-refined topic of cold, hard cash, Siren is pleased to hear that Madonna has added a new fiscally savvy fan to her list of devotees (which has been shortening in direct proportion to the number of alleged cosmetic "interventions" she appears to have undergone).
Thankfully, at this time of divorce and age-related droop, Madge has been offered words of comfort and support by a woman who proved herself fearless in tackling both. Yes, Joan Collins has given her full and fulsome backing to the way in which the dowager empress of pop has extracted herself from her marriage to Guy Ritchie without having to give him a share of her fortune.
"Even though Madonna has zillions, I didn't think she should give half to Guy – she made it all herself, as I did my money. Working since I was 17, I have never asked for or received money from any of my five husbands or my partners, other than child support. I despise men who think they deserve money from a woman," declared Joan.
Joan congratulated Madge on not having married a "material guy" and praised Ritchie for being man enough to walk away with his head held high. She reported that Ritchie appears "pretty happy" since his divorce, but cautions: "I just hope he doesn't make any more mistakes, like I did."
Given Joan's five-marriage record, Siren can imagine the former Mr Madonna hopes so too.
The full article contains 458 words and appears in The Scotsman newspaper.
