THE other week, the man in my life and I were talking about exercise, and the conversation turned to the subject of running.
I confessed I wasn't much good at it, but nevertheless attempted to pound the pavements whenever I could. "I've got an idea," he said, looking enthused. "Why don't you come out on a run with me? I'll keep you right." Dear reader, I could not have bee
n more horrified if he had donned a pink wig and a ballgown and asked me to accompany him to a Judy Garland Tribute Evening.
There are some things in relationships that should remain sacred. Toothbrushes, for example, or the name of your ex-boyfriend's pet hamster. As far as I'm concerned, exercising falls squarely into this category. I have no desire for a partner to see me in skanky trainers and a pair of old jogging bottoms, sweating it out on the cross-trainer. Call me old-fashioned, but I fail to see the romance in such a picture.
What made the suggestion even more terrifying was that I know fine well that the man in question – a former competitive athlete – usually "starts off" a two-and-a-half-hour gym workout with a 10k run on the treadmill. By the sounds of it, he'd be round the block and back before I'd put my shoes on.
Some couples do work out together. Some even instruct each other. I can't imagine why. If you think getting a significant other to teach you to drive is a trauma, imagine what it would be like doing leg squats. One "keep that tummy in!" comment and you'd have bypassed "does my bum look big in this" country and landed squarely in "you're sleeping on the couch" land.
For some couples, it works. Vanessa Feltz had a six-year relationship with her personal trainer. The internet is littered with married trainer couples. A study conducted in the US in the 1990s even suggested that married couples who exercised together were less likely to divorce.
My gentleman (a relatively recent acquisition) is proving hard to get through to on the matter. A week later over dinner, the subject came up again. "How much do you pay for your personal trainer?" He asked. I told him. "Look, if you told me what you wanted to work on, I could have you where you want to be in half the time, and it wouldn't cost a penny."
The thing is, I think he probably quite likes the idea of us working out together. He probably thinks it would be a fun way to enjoy each other's company. Really, it's quite sweet.
Personally, though, I can think of some much better ways to spend Valentine's Day.
The full article contains 465 words and appears in The Scotsman newspaper.
