Bill Jamieson: Alas poor Alistair, he might be toast despite this

TO buy, or not to buy: that is the question. Is this a toaster I see before me? It's a £39.95 Krupps Expert two-slicer, with the label "VAT slashed!"

Do I kick-start the economy and purchase? The VAT saving is 90p.

Enter Left, attractive shop assistant with silver tongue: "If you want to save the economy, sir, why not go for the Delonghi Iconn four-slice model, down from £68 to £59.95. It's a real bargain."

At that price, so it should be. The VAT saving is £1.50. If I buy this could I really save us from Japanese deflation and a lost decade? But if I wait a bit, it might be lower still in the January sales.

Enter Right, passer-by: "That's the paradox of thrift, mate."

But if I don't buy now and the pound slumps, the price could soar by the spring.

Assistant: "If you're looking to maximise your VAT saving, sir, why not go for the Dualit DCT3 conveyor belt toaster? The family will love it. At £799.95 you'll be Gordon Brown's best friend. The VAT saving is £20."

Mmm. That would certainly register in the John Lewis weekly sales figures. Might send the economy into inflationary overdrive.

Here's the toaster I'm after. It's a white Morphy Richards two-slicer, just the job at £12.99. But the VAT saving is a measly 33p. Is that really a buying trigger?

Voice of Darling: "Just buy the bloody toaster."

Mmmm. I suppose could buy it on easy terms on the in-store credit card with an APR of 32 per cent.

Assistant: "Can I wrap it for you, sir?"

Not today, thank you.


THE PRE-BUDGET REPORT: FULL COVERAGE