SUNDAY
AMY WINEHOUSE AND BLAKE FIELDER-CIVILIT IS exactly a year since Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil married in a ceremony in Florida and what a year the couple have had. It is doubtful that they will be celebrating t
heir anniversary, at least not together, but to make sure you are up to speed on the tabloids' favourite meltdown, here is a brief précis on the honeymoon so far.
Both Winehouse and Fielder-Civil have been pictured battered and bloody when emerging from spending days in a hotel room taking drugs, not once, but several times. Winehouse has lost so much weight she looks skeletal. Fielder-Civil is currently incarcerated on charges of assault and perverting the course of justice after he allegedly attacked a barman then tried to bribe him to drop the charges.
Winehouse herself was arrested last week and spent the night in the cells having been found unfit for questioning. She was later cautioned for common assault. She apparently head-butted a passerby who tried to help her.
There have been rumours of infidelities on both sides, but Winehouse and Fielder-Civil are reported to have made "no decision" about a divorce yet.
Watching this drug and alcohol-fuelled drama unfold to its seemingly inevitable end, you want someone to say "for those of you who don't want to know the results, look away now".
But one good reminder of why Winehouse is famous also emerges this week. In the absence of new material, one presumes, her first record, Frank, will be reissued today containing the original album, rare performances, b-sides and unreleased remixes. First released in 2003, Frank introduced the world to Amy's prodigious talent, winning popular and critical acclaim including an Ivor Novello award, her first, in 2004.
Winehouse's life may make you want to avert your eyes but your ears have no such scruples. And would you really rather listen to Katie Melua?
WEDNESDAY
GORDON BROWNTODAY sees the outcome of another contest that Gordon Brown stands to lose. Madame Tussaud's have been a bit sniffy about a waxwork of the PM, because he hasn't won a general election. So they are soliciting public opinion with a vote on the Tussaud's website. Results are due today and work will either proceed on moulding Mr Brown or be put on hold until a general election.
It smells like a stunt. Look at the people they have in their world leaders section. Is Archbishop Makarios really more relevant than the current British Prime Minister?
WEDNESDAY
CANNES FILM FESTIVALTHE Cannes Film Festival erupts in a frenzy of self-promotion and tackiness disguised as glamour as the movie world arrives in France.
Films being showcased include Steven Soderbergh's Che, Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Clint Eastwood's Changeling and animated comedy Kung Fu Panda.
But it is the world premiere of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull which will attract most attention. The long-awaited sequel to a phenomenally successful series – what more could a movie mogul dream of?
SATURDAY
PETER PHILLIPSPRINCESS Anne's son, Peter Phillips, is marrying his fiancée at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle. The bride is Canadian Autumn Kelly, and there are high hopes of their wedding transcending the dull union of a bank employee (him) and a management consultant (her). Among Autumn's nearest and dearest are her bricklayer brother, hairdresser mother and an uncle who used to run a strip club. On his side, two of his close family are in court this week. Mark Phillips' company is facing a health and safety prosecution over the death of a quad biker, while Zara's boyfriend Mike Tindall faces a drink-driving charge. I think Autumn could have done better.
ALL WEEK
NATIONAL WALK TO SCHOOL WEEKIT'S National Walk to School Week, in which parents are encouraged to get out and exercise with their kids every morning. It would be churlish to object to children spending more time outside but I do think there is a better way to get people involved in a daily walk with the kids. Could we call it National Walk from School Week?
In the afternoon I can manage to combine a good long walk with the super mummy stuff like finding out about their day, dawdling to look at the beetle or identify bird song. Just don't ask me to do it before 9am. That's not going to be good for anyone's health.
ALSO THIS WEEK …Today: A defendant will appear in court in connection with the Jersey historic child abuse allegations at the Haut de la Garenne care home where the discovery of the remains of a child sparked a homicide inquiry.
Tomorrow: The Turner Prize shortlist is announced and in New York Christie's hold an art sale including a painting by Lucien Freud expected to become the most expensive ever sold by a living artist.
Wednesday: It is the 60th anniversary of the declaration of the State of Israel. Dr Ian Paisley steps down as First Minister of the Northern Ireland Assembly.
Thursday: The 2008 General Assembly will open today in Edinburgh. Tennis star Andrew Murray is 21 and Madonna's adoption of a Malawian boy should be finalised.
Friday: It's a year since Alex Salmond was appointed Scottish First Minister. He hasn't married any Italian supermodels whilst in power, unlike the French president Nicolas Sarkozy, who also celebrates his first year in office. The Prince of Wales is 60.
Saturday: The Scottish Homebuilding And Renovating Show is held at the SECC.
Sunday: The new Indiana Jones film, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, holds its world premiere in Cannes and William Shatner is in Britain to publish his autobiography – Me, So Far.
The full article contains 963 words and appears in The Scotsman newspaper.
