CAMPBELTOWN LOCH "Campbeltown loch I wish you were whisky, I would drink you dry," sang Andy Stewart. Let us be sensible about this. If the loch were full of whisky then, as you started drinking, whatever you imbibed would be rep
laced by seawater and before long the briny cocktail would not be whisky at all. And that ignores the problem of how you could fully whiskify the loch in the first place.
IF I RULED THE WORLD If I did, every day would not be the first day of spring. That would be boring. It would fossilise the natural world in a perpetual state of unfulfilled hope. The first day of spring would contain only faint glimmerings of spring. It is often cold, windy and wet. In any case there would be no spring if there were no other seasons. This is an incredibly silly and unconsidered lyric.
YELLOW SUBMARINE "And our friends are all aboard, many more of them live next door." I don't want to be pedantic but if all of our friends are on the custard-coloured, subsea module, then it is impossible for there to be any more of them. And so they cannot live next door, or anywhere else.
THERE ARE MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS Sang Johnny Nash in his blend of reggae and philosophy. But he did not do the maths. There are indeed unanswered questions, but there are also questions with multiple answers. The total of the former pales into insignificance against the sum of the latter. Here are a couple: How do you get from Mallaig to Minehead? Love is a four-letter word, what is another one?
The full article contains 366 words and appears in The Scotsman newspaper.
