THE carrot sculpted into the shape of a bird brought to mind The Generation Game. A mental picture emerged of hapless contestants in ill-fitting 1970s polyester trying to carve a potato against the clock, encouraged and mocked in equal measure by a g
uffawing Bruce Forsyth.
Of course, the results of such TV light entertainment endeavours were invariably inexpert – unlike the beautifully crafted carrot bird at Kweilin, so perfect that I expected it to chirrup at any moment from beside the seafood nest and flutter languidly into the air.
It was my wife Gaynor who chose the seafood nest and was unexpectedly furnished with the carrot bird. If it had been me, my lack of decorum at the dining table might well have resulted in me taking a bite out of said carrot bird (which sounds like a neighbour of the soup dragon in The Clangers). However, Gaynor would have been mortified, so I demurred.
Taking a bite would also have been disrespectful of the owner of Kweilin, Kenny Chan, and his staff. There seemed to be an awful lot of them for a relatively quiet Wednesday lunchtime in spring, but they never allowed charm and politeness to spill over into a cloying over-familiarity.
Their only entreaty was to suggest we tried the special roast duck lunch, which I quite fancied, but as Gaynor doesn't eat meat this choice would have been as much of a clanger as biting the head off the carrot bird.
For starters, we shared a trio of dishes – the old favourites of prawn sesame toast (£4.50) and Ha-Kow (prawn dumpling, £3.50), plus a plate of seaweed, topped with dry seafood (£5.60). Prawn sesame toast can often be a soggy and oily disappointment, with barely a prawn to bite upon, but this was tremendous – crunchy, prawn-packed and hugely tasty. We were divided on the prawn dumpling, which was a pale, near-diaphanous and slightly glutinous parcel. I loved the consistency and taste but Gaynor found it slightly sickly and soggy. I was happy to help her out, and duly polished off her portion, while she munched on the excellent seaweed.
For my main course, I eschewed the predictable choices and chewed on something much more unusual – chicken coated in almonds and cooked in orange, with a touch of Cointreau (£13.95). I have to admit that I wasn't sure when it arrived, but as I bit in, the crunch of the almonds offset the soft chicken within and the sweetness of the orange. Great. I was also tempted by the eight treasures duck, braised with vegetables, prawns and meats, less so by the stewed duck feet and chinese mushroom in a clay pot (£13.95).
Kweilin specialises in Scottish seafood, and offers two other clay pot options – braised monkfish with bean curd and vegetables, and mixed seafood and bean curd. There were plenty of other attractive seafood options, including lobster, halibut and scallops and I would have been happy with most of the choices.
As I munched through my orange and almond chicken, the carrot bird sat across the table, sentinel-like beside the mixed seafood nest (£15.95). The nest was crammed with prawns, squid and monkfish, stir-fried with vegetables in a clear garlic sauce. As a big fan of squid, I was allowed a piece and it was indeed moist and delicious – and yet, I couldn't help musing that the nest should have been a bit bigger. Gaynor could have eaten another half a dozen pieces of seafood, and if it had been me, I'd have taken another ten or a dozen. This led me to a firm conclusion – that the nest had possibly shrunk to accommodate the carrot bird. On taste grounds, though, the main courses both got a thumbs-up and the accompanying noodles and rice were lovely.
Having gone leftfield with the main course, I went all traditional for the pud and chose a banana fritter (£3.50). Like the prawn sesame toast starter, it could have been stodgy, but it turned out to be beautifully crisp and tasty, deliciously offset by the ice-cream accompaniment.
Later, I wondered if I should have taken the carrot bird home; the kids would have been impressed. After all, it wouldn't have lasted much longer before going brown around the edges like, erm, an old carrot, I suppose. The chef who sculpted the bird – his repertoire also includes dragons – was called Ka Lun Kwok, I later discovered, so all power to his highly skilled carving elbow.
Kweilin has been around for close to 25 years and is handily placed at the junction of Dundas Street and Northumberland Street for passing New Town trade. It's pleasant inside – lots of lanterns and pictures of flowers and mountains. It's the ideal venue for a night out in a large group. I can easily imagine getting mildly raucous over a set meal for 20.
A hint – if you come by car, you may find it hard to locate a parking meter without crossing Dundas Street; leave someone near the car just in case those cheeky parking wardens try to nip in as you leave your vehicle to buy a ticket.
Maybe you could stick a carrot bird on the bonnet and that might nonplus the warden long enough to save you a parking fine.
