MY MUM was the perfect mum really. I guess your relationship with your mother informs how you treat all other women. I'm very close to mine because I was the youngest of three boys.
I was the mommie's boy, a bit of a show-off. My mum was always a bit daft. She's from Partick in Glasgow and she's got the most ridiculous sense of humour. She used to always play tricks on us; she had a great sense of fun. When it came to anything i
mportant it was always my dad who did it.
I was married when I was 25 for about five years to a lovely woman called Kate. She lives in Melbourne. I saw her at New Year and she told me she's pregnant with her first child, which is really cool. At the time (we split up] it felt like the end of the world, now we're friends, we're adults about it. We made an effort to remain friends because in a way we made vows to each other to remain friends no matter what.
I go for long-term relationships; I have done since I was about 20. I can't tell you whether that's healthy or not, but it's just the way it's happened.
My parents are on their 52nd wedding anniversary. They're both from Glasgow. They came back for their 50th wedding anniversary and retraced their steps, what they did on their honeymoon, all that. It's such a lovely thing to do. I said to my mum you're just rubbing it in now – I couldn't last five years.
It's a cliché but I think you get attracted to people who are similar to your parents. The girls I've met with tend to think that I'm like their dad and similarly they tend to be a little bit daft. They like a bit of a laugh and they try not to take things too seriously. I mean they have to put up with me and I'm a fool. I'm not the kind of person who goes out to work nine til five to a steady job.
I live in a pretty crazy group of friends who are comedians so it's a large community of people that we all know. I don't have male friends over female friends. I don't think like that really. I suppose the friendships with men and women are a little bit different – if you're with your girlfriend there are certain things you can talk about – but most of the men I hang around with are all performers, musicians, comedians and actors who are in touch with their sensitive side.
That sounds a bit fey. I don't mean they're more sensitive, they've just got a more modern way of approaching issues. We're all human beings at heart. Men get attracted to women, women get attracted to men for different reasons, but the guys that I hang out with by the nature of their occupation try to understand things.
I always get a little bit angry when I hear people talking about male and female. It seems a little bit sexist, but then again I'm not female and it sounds condescending to imagine I know what women are going through all the time. But people are people.
There are so many other issues beyond gender. I try to just treat people as they come, as individuals. I've met some horrible macho men and I always think it's just that they're trying to cover up some insecurity they have.
I'm not with anyone at the moment but I do like being in relationships. I like that sense of security, having a base. I suppose because of the type of life I have – it's all full-on all the time – I like to have an anchor, someone who's there and who I like to talk with, someone who I want to call to talk about things. I think that's true for everyone. There are lots of loners out there but overall everyone needs someone who knows them, who they can discuss things with and who can help them make decisions.
At the moment though, I'm happy just floating about. I came out of a long-term relationship a year and a half ago so I'm at that point where I'm just enjoying travelling and working and doing what I do.
• Phil Nichol is appearing in Aberdeen, Stirling, Inverness, Greenock and Dunfermline as part of the Gilded Balloon comedy tour, 25 February to 1 March. For further details, log on to:
www.gildedballoon.co.uk 