ANY film producers with a spare £20 million or two (the principals won't come cheap) might like to consider this pitch. It's essentially a remake of Louis Malles' cerebral 1981 classic My Dinner With Andre, in which two ageing theatrical thinkers discussed life, culture and the nature of reality.
My Dinner With 'Arry would dispense with the dinner, instead allowing Sir Alex Ferguson to crack open increasingly impressive bottles of red, as he, and the nearest he has ever come to a Premier League soul-mate, Harry Redknapp, discuss referees, do
dgy transfer deals, Panorama probes, players, agents (and other family members). I'm thinking Scorsese to direct, what with his auteur's eye for close-ups of creased, calculating, world-weary mob bosses. Coppola might work too, although he would find Fergie a bit pricklier and more precious to deal with than Brando.
While we wait for that arthouse epic to clean up on the festival circuit we must make do with Ferguson's visit to White Hart Lane for a tea-time encounter with Tottenham.
Ferguson will be hoping that his post-match glass or four with Redknapp will be conducted in a mood of amiable condescension, perhaps after a comfortable 3-0 victory. Ferguson's friendship with Redknapp has its limits after all. A Cockney with a smile on his face after seeing his team frustrate the champions, could add a bitter aftertaste to even the smoothest vintage Bordeaux. You could make a case that, going into Christmas, of the big four, Ferguson is under the most pressure. Rafael Benitez continues to offer up heartfelt paeans of poverty, suggesting that his threadbare team of humble journeymen rousted off the local playing fields cannot possibly compete with Chelsea and Manchester United who sprinkle gold bullion on their players' cornflakes. Arsene Wenger cultivates an image of a purist craving an exalted team playing music-of-the-spheres football, without having to worry about the grubby vulgarity of winning trophies. Luiz Felipe Scolari is deliberately making his English deteriorate with each disappointing Chelsea result.
United though carry weighty expectations into every game. Last season they won the title and the Champions League. Anything less this season is going backwards. Their Premier League position is such that any dropped points attain immediate significance. The nature of last week's win over a managerless Sunderland suggested a team struggling for fluency. Happily Ferguson is never troubled by that pointless emotion, embarrassment, or he might have been concerned by a team with the richest attacking talent in Europe having to be saved by a stoppage-time tap-in from Nemanja Vidic. United could also have been a little shamefaced about their inept performance against Aalborg in midweek.
Those attacking riches will be depleted this afternoon, with Wayne Rooney suspended and Dimitar Berbatov a lingering doubt for the trip to White Hart Lane. But should the Bulgarian make the match Redknapp was quick to remindSpurs fans that the club got more than £30million for a striker that did not want to play for them. "He was a good player here and the club got fantastic money for him," he pointed out.
Berbatov's sore achilles is the latest incident in a fluctuating graph of popularity between the Bulgarian and Carlos Tevez. A month ago Berbatov was the man in favour, and it was suspected that Tevez would be off to Real Madrid. Tevez has since impressed with goals and endeavour, in marked contrast to Berbatov's occasional languid cameos.
Berbatov was brought in to offer United a different dimension. United though have been slow to adjust their high-tempo, scintillating approach to Berbatov's more considered, and occasionally unpredictable interventions.
It's ironic that, had he stayed at Spurs, Berbatov would have flourished under the manager best suited to get the best out of his temperamental talent. It isn't true to say Redknapp is an indulgent manager, but he's certainly more flexible and tolerant than Ferguson.
Redknapp has enjoyed success against United regularly in the past, and the cheeky chappy persona should not disguise the fact that, tactically, he as at least a match for Ferguson. He will enjoy knowing that this is not a game he is expected to win, and will communicate that lack of pressure to his players. By contrast United need to secure all three points before heading off for the World Club Championship.
It's just a pity that the two managers have become so camera-shy in recent years. Their no-holds-barred conversation could offer almost as much entertainment as their teams.
