WELL that one came straight out of left-field. Who would have thought that Cristiano Ronaldo ... oh wait, this was the worst-kept secret in the inglorious history of ludicrously over-hyped football transfers.
Everybody had an opinion. Even the former Smiths guitarist Johnny Marr took time off from pondering the wreck of his career to call the move "obscene". The opinions of the bassist from The Cocteau Twins or the Aztec Camera drummer were not forthcomin
g but when even indie uncles are in the loop, you wonder why Manchester United sources spent an entire season being so disingenuous about a done deal.
A charitable interpretation might be to suppose that the club thought that if Ronaldo was publicly identified as a Madrid man walking it might affect his popularity. Reasonable, considering the considerable amount of antipathy already emanating from the prawn-sandwich munchers at Old Trafford.
Madrid sources (not entirely reliable but usually more candid than United sources if only because they have less talent for the Machiavellian) assert that Ronaldo's transfer was agreed last summer. It would be delicious to surmise that everybody knew about it except Sir Alex Ferguson. It conjures up the scene where United's negotiators shake hands with their Madrid counterparts and contemplate which of them is going to tell Fergie.
The alternative though is that Ferguson with his various comments along the lines of "I'd rather sell that mob a virus", and his rambling historical treatises about Real's connections with the Franco regime, has been lying solidly and shamelessly all season, And that couldn't possibly happen could it? Does this man possess that amount of talent for mendacity?
A crumb of evidence in support of Ferguson's ignorance has been his attitude to Carlos Tevez. If he knew his biggest star was leaving this summer, perhaps he might have shown a smidgeon of diplomacy earlier in the season in his dealings with the enthusiastic Argentinian, rather than leaving it until this week to ring him up and say something along the lines of "Hey whatsyername, have I told you lately that I love you?"
As it is Tevez seems likely to show Ferguson that nobody holds a grudge longer than a slighted Argentinian. Tevez might even join Manchester City to indulge in a spot of badge-kissing.
Signing Tevez would at least have ensured that £20 million of the Ronaldo transfer fee was spent on the team. As it is, Ferguson is under pressure to spend quickly before the Glazers start allocating that cash to feeding their debt. For the next few weeks, United are playing the role of the fat American tourist with the bulging wallet wandering into a market where every trader licks his lips and doubles his asking prices.
What is immediately apparent is that United are not going to get another Ronaldo or anything like him. Their immediate purchasing plans are likely to involve little more than a trip down the canal to Wigan to pick up Luis Antonio Valencia for £17 million.
Other targets are overpriced stars of Europe's second-rate leagues in France and Germany, Lyon's Karim Benzema and Franck Ribery of Bayern Munich.
If he allows a little time for reflection, Ferguson might take a more considered approach to strengthening his team. It was apparent that a chasm in class separated United's midfield from Barcelona's in the Champions League final. United need intelligence and leadership in the middle rather than more flighty and mercurial forwards.
Ferguson may also be in danger of forgetting that he has Ronaldo's most obvious replacement under his nose. Wayne Rooney had a better season for United than the Portuguese player, and his form for England suggests he would revel in being given a role as a striker through the middle, rather than as a semi-detached left-winger.
The Old Trafford manager's task this summer should be to recruit the players who will provide a supply-line to Rooney and Co. The prosaic likes of Darren Fletcher and Park Ji-Sung are fine for the scrappy attrition of most league matches, but to remain at the highest level United need to buy players with a degree of vision and composure.
That's easier said than done. Barcelona's success has put these kinds of players (small and Spanish) at a premium. Valencia's David Silva though might be an astute target if Ferguson wants to join the queue with Real Madrid and Liverpool. If he can't get him, a saving interest in Everton's Mikel Arteta wouldn't be outlandish.
